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Monday, August 31, 2009

WHAT I LEARNED THIS WEEKEND

1. There's a reason I don't usually talk to strangers.

I was trying to be polite when the old Jew who sat next to me in the park started babbling about the state of the world in which we live - at least I thought he was an old Jew until he blamed 9/11 on the Jews. I was offended not by his antisemitism, but by his lack of originality. I wanted to tell the Dane Cook of conspiracy theorists that blaming the Jews for 9/11 had been done to death by mental patients way more talented than him, but I just got up and left before he was able to see my horns.

2. There's a reason I've never been to Crumbs Bakery (until yesterday)

I don't have a problem paying four bucks for a cupcake so big you need a fork to eat it, if the cupcake is actually good. I have a better, more appropriate name for this place - "Stale." I'm not sure which was worse - the fact that I could only finish half the cupcake because one more bite would have put me into a diabetic coma, or the fact that I sat next to the future cast of NYC Prep while I was eating it. If I'm gonna force feed myself a dry, shitty cupcake just to get my money's worth, I don't need to listen to a group of 9th graders whose handbags cost more than my mortgage payment use the word "like" fifteen times a sentence.

3. Fareed Zakaria is "a antisemite schmuck" - according to my great aunt.

I have nothing against the guy. I'm pretty sure he knows who's responsible for 9/11 - the Mexicans.

2 comments:

Ro said...

Aw, that's too bad about your cupcake. Crumbs can be hit or miss sometimes. But if you really want to eat stale, glue ridden crap eat at Baby Cakes. Truly awful.

PepGiraffe said...

Thank you. I knew I couldn't be the only one that thinks Crumbs is completely over rated. I've never seen them hit.