Does He Cheat? Confessions from Men: 50 Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating

For about three weeks, Does He Cheat? Confessions from Men: 50 Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating sat on my desk at work amidst a sloppy pile of books I was either reading, or had intended to read, clearly visible to all passersby. My coworkers now look at me differently, as do the handful of clients who have seen my reading list. I'm sure none of them noticed the yellowed copy of Moby Dick that sat in the pile that I told myself I'd re-read, but never got past the first page. (Truth is, I can't remember if I actually ever read Moby Dick, or if I've lied about reading it so many times that I actually believe I've read it). No one saw Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children, which after page 100 turned into a coaster for my morning green tea. The Dancing Wu Li Masters I'm sure went entirely unnoticed, too, by people who are confident that I'm a dude who's into dudes, who thinks his dude is cheating on him. And you know what? I don't even care. I make that sacrifice for you -- my female readers -- so you'll know if you should read books like Sterling Anderson's and Stephanie Dart's user's manual for the cheating male; a veritable reference guide against which you can check if your mate's behaviors require immediate attention.

Does your husband's phone go straight to voice mail for hours at a time? Look that shit up. It's in there. That may be a sign he's cheating.

Does your guy have a weekly poker game? You may be picturing a sausage fest in some smoke filled, suburban finished basement, but the type of "poke her" going on doesn't involve chips or cards. It involves your man poking her - her, as in, not you. Well, maybe. There's only one way to know for sure -- buy the book and Anderson and Dart will tell you.

Dating a fellow who enjoys looking at naked ladies on the computer? He may be a cheater, according to Anderson and Dart. Does He Cheat? warns women that porn "is a gateway drug to becoming unfaithful," and while I would confidently wager that most guys, who like to rub one out while watching ladies touch each other, are not cheaters, I'm sure there are some that are. It probably isn't fair for Anderson and Dart to cast such a wide net in the process of trying to catch a few bad fish, (or more accurately, bad guys who smell like fish. Yeah, I went there), but this isn't science, and the authors make that clear in the preface: "We heard hundreds of ways to manipulate and deceive a wife or girlfriend. The frequent flyers made it to this book. None of what is written here is etched in stone."

The 50 signs, drawn from hundreds of interviews with cheaters, are conveniently divided into a cheater's confession followed by a section entitled, "Advice to You." So if your guy is calling you to tell you he's too drunk to drive home, Does He Cheat? suggests you offer to pick his ass up. His reaction will tell you whether he's to be believed.

Much of the book contains fairly obvious common sense advice, and as a guy reading it, I couldn't imagine a woman needing to be told that if her man gets all tongue tied trying to explain a 3 AM phone call, he's probably up to no good. And some of the other signs listed that a man may be cheating may or may not be indicative of infidelity, like purposely picking a fight to have an excuse to leave. I used to do that with an ex all the time, but it wasn't because I wanted to be with another woman, I just wanted to be withOUT my ex. Again, this is a guidebook, not a bible, and women reading it should treat it as such, lest they accuse their men of doing something he wasn't going to do until they got up his ass about it.

Ladies, use this book wisely, but certainly check it out if you suspect your man is cheating -- like I apparently do.
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