The Door Blocker

The date was a formality. It was disinterest at first sight... on both our parts. One of those dates during which you both say to yourselves, "Okay. An hour, and I'm done. I'll be polite, but this chick/guy is not for me."

She had the physique of R2D2, and the personality of Chewbacca....kind of angry at the world. I think I even heard her growl a few times. I'm sure she had nothing particularly nice to say about me either. You'd have to check her blog for that . I'm guessing the address is something like:

www.34-bitter-bitchy-and-not-nearly-as attractive-as-I think-I-am.blogspot.com.

After about 45 minutes of forced conversation at the French Roast across the street from her place, I walked her back across the street, and stood at her building's entrance. It was that awkward moment at the end of a first date that you both know will not result in a second. I wanted to simply say, "Okay. Nice meeting you. Take Care," and leave. But despite the mutual disinterest, I still felt the need to engage her in polite conversation. She complained during the date about some exam she needed to take for work. I asked her about the specifics of the exam, and she stood there with her arms stretched - covering the entrance to her front door like a security guard preventing groupies from entering the band's dressing room after the concert.

My mouth moved, asking her the inane question about her work, but my mind was only able to focus on this chick protecting that door with her life. As far as she was concerned, there was no way I was getting into her building, or into her precious goodies. I couldn't believe she thought I was being anything but polite. Did she actually think I wanted some of what she got? 'Cuz she ain't got shit! Maybe I SHOULD try and get in, I thought for a second. This way I can hang a mirror somewhere in her apartment so she could see for herself how incredibly wrong she was about my interest in her.

Instead, I waited for her terse response to my question, and then said, "Okay. Nice meeting you. Take Care." She said the same, and ran into her building like it was 1976 and the Son of Sam was on the loose.