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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL

I'm starting to think this dude has the right idea. Sure, cutting her food for her would be a pain in the ass, but she'll never spend an entire date on her cell phone, or tell me I'm too Ashkenaz, or immature, or make me watch "How I met Your Mother."...And best of all, I'll NEVER have to shave my balls for her!

10 comments:

Isaac said...

If she has a a sister, lemme know.

mo said...

Now you're talking! Of course, this begs the question, why would you have to feed a mannequin?...But I'll go along with it.

By the way, I've totally farted on dates, but The blogger thing wouldn't accept my vote. So consider my vote casted here.

Nikki said...

Come on. Things aren't that desperate for you yet I hope.

Miranda said...

Shave your balls??!!!!! I don't get it.

yingerman said...

What about
1 the low maintanence
2 and the fact that she never whines
3 and doesnt expect a call during the day
4 can be stored in closet when the guys come over - with no guilt either
5 always awake
6 always looks her best
7 wont ever get fat
8 never gabs with friends clogging the modem line
9 never even looks at other guys
10 never ever disagrees with you

more anyone?

jared said...

"never gabs with friends clogging the modem line"?....

Dude, you need to get a high speed, non-dial up modem and join the 21st century before you move up to the technologically advanced world of mannequins.

Plus, I'd expect to catch some shit from female commenters about some of the other things on your list.

Marc F. said...

Miranda,
See post entitled "I SHAVED MY BALLS FOR THIS?" (September 18, 2007) You should then be brought up to speed.

del said...

No booger hanging from her nose, either! The down side is that she'll never thank you or offer to pay.

yingerman said...

Your right most don't know what a modem is!

Lerry J. said...

But is she jewish?