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Thursday, October 25, 2007

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

I asked that question of the woman I called last night at least a dozen times during our attempted phone conversation. I thought maybe the problem was with my cell so I called her back from my land line. Still, nothing but static, and me shouting, "Hello?...Can you hear me?" So I called again from my cell. It was the most frustrating phone conversation I've had since cell phones were the size of bricks, had antennas, and those purposeless strings attached to them. I felt like Alexander Graham Bell making that first phone call. I have Verizon, but even though I had my network behind me, this is how I felt trying to talk to this chick:

"Hello! Can you hear me now? I got your number from uh...Hello?!"

After the third time I called her back, I got her voicemail. I left a message asking her to call me. I even left her my email address, and asked her to email me in case her cell phone was having issues. I received neither a call nor an email. Maybe she never got the message, I thought. After all, if her cell phone was a mess, she probably wasn't getting voicemails.

I later spoke to my friend whose wife passed along this chick's digits to me in the first place because she thought we'd be a great match. When I told him what happened, his response was, "Yeah, she does that sometimes to guys."

"Does what?" I responded, "Pretends not to hear them on the phone and makes fake static noises?"

"No. She's just weird. Forget about it. Leslie has some other friends she can set you up with," he said.

"That's okay," I told him. "If this woman is at the top of the list of women she wants to set me up with, I'd hate to meet the members of the B-team."

"Don't be such a schmuck," he retorted angrily, as if he had any right to be annoyed. "It's not like you have that many options left."

"Hello?... I can't hear you so well," I said. "Are you driving through a tunnel?...We have a bad connection."

"Fuck you," was his response. "I'll call you tomorrow with another number."

And like a schmuck who doesn't have that many options left, I'll take the number and probably have something else to blog about.

11 comments:

Brian said...

She's just weird? How does that excuse the whole phone thing?

Get new friends, or at least different ones to set you up.

Jimmy said...

Seriously, dude. These people setting you up aren't looking out for your best interests. I don't know what kind of games this broad was playing, but if that whole thing was intentional, she shouldn't be out in the adult world dating. Ordinarily, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and say her cell phone just sucked, but based on what your friend said about her, I'd steer clear of future setups with his wife's friends.

kelly said...

reminds me of the verizon commercial where the girl pretends she can't hear her mother on her cell, and her friends are behind her making static noises.

Anonymous said...

Man, you need to use mace.

Tiny E said...

You know/run into/first-date a lot of sucky people. I thought I had bad date stories but I'm minor league compared to you.

Mo said...

He's not just major league. He's in the Hall of Fame when it comes to bad dates...and not just the regular Hall of Fame. We're talking about the special section they reserve for Babe Ruth, Lou Gherig, Ted Williams...

Herself said...

Haha. My guy actually switched his phone service after way too many dropped calls and "can you hear me now's."
Maybe it's love.
At least she didn't try to sell you on a "religion" or tv show...

Nice Jewish Guy said...

You know, Marc, I'm just wondering... do you ever have any good dates? Or are we just hearing about the incredibly bad ones?

del said...

The bigger questions are 1) Why are these "friends" of your still setting HER up on dates, and 2) what do they tell the women about you?

Marc F. said...

NJG- They're few and far between, but the bad ones are just so much more entertaining to read about. Plus it's cathartic for me to write about the bad ones.

Del - Again, it's the whole "you have a penis, she has a vagina so go out mentality." I'm sure they tell them that I'm a nice guy, the same way they tell me that these women are nice, cute, etc.

Miranda Murphy said...

Mercury is in retrogade, hence the failed connections.

Also - there are always options, do not lose faith!e