Went out with a group of friends last night, some of whom brought guests I'd never met. One such guest was a cute brunette from the Upper West Side with whom I was unwittingly being thrust into an instant date. It was awkward at first. No one told me to expect any type of set up, or that this person would be there for the sole purpose of being introduced to me. I'm usually a good sport about those types of things, but I like to be given some advance notice. You need to give a guy a chance to throw on a decent shirt or suck on a tic-tac ahead of time. Something to help the cause. But no such was warning was given, and I sat there in my faded $9.99 TJ Max T-shirt, and my tic-tac-less breath talking to this woman.
The conversation went okay until someone at the table asked if anyone had seen "How I Met Your Mother" the other night. Although she hadn't had a chance to see it yet, my "instant date" proclaimed her undying love for the show, and how she was so looking forward to watching it on the DVR. She went on and on about how funny it is, and asked if I liked the show. I told her that I'd seen it a few times, but wasn't really a fan.
"How could you not like it? It's hilarious," she proclaimed.
I didn't want to get into a whole debate about it so I just told her that it just wasn't my kind of show, but that I did think Doogie Howser did a good job on it.
"If that's the only thing about the show you like," she insisted, "then you must be gay because he's gay in real life."
Unable to argue with such enlightened logic, I simply responded, "Sounds like you've got me all figured out. I guess I can finally stop living a lie."
"Don't patronize me," she said. "What do you think is funny?...'South Park'?"
I told her that I was more of a "Family Guy" fan, but that I found "South Park" funny on occasion.
"Why can't I meet a NORMAL guy with a NORMAL sense of humor?," she snorted angrily before turning her back on me and ending our little "instant date."
In the end, I was glad I didn't waste a nice shirt or a tic-tac on this chick.