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Wednesday, October 3, 2007

HOW I MET THIS ASSHOLE

Went out with a group of friends last night, some of whom brought guests I'd never met. One such guest was a cute brunette from the Upper West Side with whom I was unwittingly being thrust into an instant date. It was awkward at first. No one told me to expect any type of set up, or that this person would be there for the sole purpose of being introduced to me. I'm usually a good sport about those types of things, but I like to be given some advance notice. You need to give a guy a chance to throw on a decent shirt or suck on a tic-tac ahead of time. Something to help the cause. But no such was warning was given, and I sat there in my faded $9.99 TJ Max T-shirt, and my tic-tac-less breath talking to this woman.

The conversation went okay until someone at the table asked if anyone had seen "How I Met Your Mother" the other night. Although she hadn't had a chance to see it yet, my "instant date" proclaimed her undying love for the show, and how she was so looking forward to watching it on the DVR. She went on and on about how funny it is, and asked if I liked the show. I told her that I'd seen it a few times, but wasn't really a fan.

"How could you not like it? It's hilarious," she proclaimed.

I didn't want to get into a whole debate about it so I just told her that it just wasn't my kind of show, but that I did think Doogie Howser did a good job on it.

"If that's the only thing about the show you like," she insisted, "then you must be gay because he's gay in real life."

Unable to argue with such enlightened logic, I simply responded, "Sounds like you've got me all figured out. I guess I can finally stop living a lie."

"Don't patronize me," she said. "What do you think is funny?...'South Park'?"

I told her that I was more of a "Family Guy" fan, but that I found "South Park" funny on occasion.

"Why can't I meet a NORMAL guy with a NORMAL sense of humor?," she snorted angrily before turning her back on me and ending our little "instant date."

In the end, I was glad I didn't waste a nice shirt or a tic-tac on this chick.

11 comments:

Mo said...

She'll have plenty of time to watch all the tv in the world with that attitude when she's single and living with all her cats.

isaac said...

That sounds like a sane reason not to talk to a guy...when he doesn't like your favorite TV show.

Mmmkay ... said...

You should have said, "Screw you guys, I'm going home.", in Eric Cartman's voice.

larry said...

Women seem to like that show more than guys, I think. It's one of those "not really funny, but cutesy" kinda shows, like most romantic comedies. But what does she produce the show or something? Why does she give a shit if you like it or not?

jared said...

I think Doogie Howser is good on that show too. ...Wait a second. Does that mean I'm gay too? All of a sudden, I'm so confused.

Walter said...

"How could you not like it? It's hilarious," she proclaimed.
Well, congratulations, it seems like you've met an absolutist who denies
your right to subjective experiences. In fact, she is the one who takes her
tastes and opinions too seriously, and it is therefore she who is lacking in humor. She might be pointing a finger at you, but there are three pointing right back at her.

Miranda Murphy said...

Right on Walter... so true. And... erm... this petty argument was over a TV SHOW!!!!! Imagine if she were faced with a differing opinion on something that was actually important!!

Sounds like this was a lucky escape if you ask me.

I cracked up laughing when I read: "Unable to argue with such enlightened logic..." that is a brilliant line.

rebecca said...

She's a waste of space, next!

Aileen said...

So, at least we can see that outright bitchitude is not only relegated to j-date.
What a twat.

Nice Jewish Guy said...

Hope you didn't shave your balls for this one.

Marc F. said...

No, NJG, I did not, but I appreciate the concern...as do my balls.