STOOD UP

On Sunday I had a date with a woman at 11:30 am for brunch. I'm not a real big fan of "brunch" because it's a bit too trendy for me. A bagel with cream cheese is more than enough for me on a Sunday, or any day for that matter, but the psycho in question decided that's what she wanted. So I'm sitting there ON TIME at 11:30 am waiting for her at the designated meeting place, when my phone rings. "Sorry," she says, with an Israeli accent so thick I thought I was sitting in a cafe in Tel Aviv, instead of the Upper East Side, "My friend has sahm-sing and vee vill hev to delay owver meeting."

"Your friend has sahm-sing?," I thought. "What about the date YOU asked me on? Is that not sahm-sing?...You know, the one I'm sitting here waiting for you for at 11:30 on a Sunday morning in 97 degree heat?" Of course, being the pushover that I am, I said, "Call me when you're done with your friend. If I'm still available, we'll get together." Of course, she never called. Apparently, her friend's "sahm-sing" was too important to warrant a courtesy call to apologize. I thought maybe the friend had some serious medical problem to which this chick was attending, but it wasn't serious enough to prevent this tactless specimen from logging on to Jdate a few short hours later. Maybe she was sitting in the ICU with her laptop trolling for guys, while the friend teetering on the brink of death, motioned for her to click on profiles, with the last ounce of strength she could muster. "Yes," I could hear her friend mutter, "you should should stand him up too....do it for me, if it's the last thing you do."

Anyway, I think this may be the straw that broke Jdate's back for me. I think I'm officially J-DONE!