Remember those party lines from the 90s where you'd call a number and there'd be groups of "hip, young, attractive singles from your area" on the phone that you could chat with all at the same time? Well, I think I mistakenly called one last night. I thought I was calling some Jdate chick, but apparently there were like 4 or 5 other people in the room she was talking to while talking to me. Nothing says "you have my undivided attention" like asking a roommate if she has a yeast infection in the middle of what's supposed to be a one on one conversation with a guy to whom you've given your number. She'd give me one word answers to my questions before she'd ask me to hold for a second while she'd argue with someone over what channel to stop on, or whether they should order Dominos or just heat up some Hot Pockets.
I even joked and asked her if the call was costing me $3.99 a minute like those party lines, but it went completely over her head like I think most things do for her...you know, like basic human politeness and courtesy.
By the fourth "can you hold on a sec?," when I heard her tell someone her ass looked huge in her pajamas, I hit the "end" button on my phone and called it a night. I don't even think she knew I hung up on her.