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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

One Photo Too Many

All online daters have experienced clicking on a photo that looked appealing only to see another in the profile that was less than appealing. Sometimes the differences between photos are so drastic you wonder if the pictures are of the same person. You look closely and examine the person's features, only to realize it is the same person, and that the "good picture" must have been through many rounds of photoshop. Or maybe the good picture was taken by the same genius photographer that makes even Oprah look kinda sexy sometimes on the cover of her magazine. Or maybe the stars that control lighting and camera angles were in absolute perfect alignment the day the good picture was taken...if you believe in that sort of thing.

When you're just browsing profiles, you can simply wince in disgust and move on to the next profile, if that second picture doesn't work for you. But what do you do after you've initiated contact with a person based on their "good picture," and then they post a second not so good picture? I've had more than enough online dating experience to know that you pretty much always have to go by the worst picture. You just do. You have to assume that the person looks like the less attractive picture, and if you're okay with that, great. If you're not okay with it, and you've already spoken on the phone, it's awkward.

So I set up a date with just such a woman for tonight. She had one picture posted when we spoke a few days ago. I was browsing online last night when I clicked on her profile to reacquaint myself with her backstory so I know what to expect, and what to discuss on the date, when there they were - two new pictures...both drastically different than the main picture. Had I seen these pictures the first time I clicked on her, I would never have contacted her. I won't get into too many details, but let's just say that first picture was taken a few years and many pounds ago.

So there I am wondering how to get out of this date. Do I just email her saying we'll have to reschedule, and then never contact her again? I thought if I did that, she'd know it was because of the pictures, and I just couldn't do that to another person. I consulted with a friend who said that this woman clearly misrepresented herself before she put the new pics up, and that I was perfectly within my rights to blow her off. I agreed with his cold, heartless logic (he is a lawyer after all), but I still couldn't hurt someone's feelings like that. I decided to just suck it up and go through with it. I thought maybe there was a one in a million chance that she actually looked like the good picture in real life, or maybe I'd just meet someone interesting and have a nice conversation for an hour.

So I go to grab a slice of pizza for lunch and I can't even enjoy it because I'm dreading tonight's date. All that glass half full thinking about her maybe looking like the good picture and meeting someone interesting is out the window. I'm sitting there wondering if it's too late to cancel. Is it now too far past the point of no return since the date is only a few hours away? Is it like a therapist's appointment where you have to give 24 hours notice? I finally resolve myself to the fact that I'm gonna have to just go through with it, when all of a sudden my cell rings. This woman was calling to cancel on ME. She said she'd been thinking about our date, and after discussing it with her friend, she decided I'm not tall enough for her.

Is that bitter irony or sweet salvation? I think I'll stick with the glass half full philosophy on this one, and consider this my lucky day.

7 comments:

Linda said...

The universe was looking out for you this time.

isaac said...

that's why you never contact the ones with only one pic, especially if that one pic looks like it was professionaly shot.

Mo said...

Oprah's photographer deserves a damn Pulitzer.

julia said...

It is really shocking that someone would be ruled out solely for height... And mo, my husband totally agrees with you about Oprah, whenever I comment on how great she looks he reminds me of what she looks like without makeup, lighting, etc. I need my own stylist/make up artist!!

rebecca said...

Marc, sorry to say this to you, but you AND the woman were both being kind of shallow. I always met men in person even if I wasn't totally impressed with the pictures because sometimes you can be pleasantly surprised when you see them in person. People need to give each other a chance and not be so harsh and judgmental. Maybe I'm just being overly optimistic, guess that's just my nature.

del said...

I'm with Rebecca on this one. The whole story smacks of poetic justice more than anything else.

Maybe you should have told this woman that you'd wear heels? LOL

SaraK said...

I'm also with Rebecca. You should not have canceled, worse comes to worse, you took her out for coffee and you're not attracted to her. The only reason (IMO) to cancel a date is if you found out something objective about her, like something you consider a show-stopper. Now, she, on the other hand, is extremely flaky for giving you that weird reason. She had to discuss it with a friend? She knew how tall you were before she got on the phone with you and set up the date. And then she hadn't even met you yet! What-ever...