All online daters have experienced clicking on a photo that looked appealing only to see another in the profile that was less than appealing. Sometimes the differences between photos are so drastic you wonder if the pictures are of the same person. You look closely and examine the person's features, only to realize it is the same person, and that the "good picture" must have been through many rounds of photoshop. Or maybe the good picture was taken by the same genius photographer that makes even Oprah look kinda sexy sometimes on the cover of her magazine. Or maybe the stars that control lighting and camera angles were in absolute perfect alignment the day the good picture was taken...if you believe in that sort of thing.
When you're just browsing profiles, you can simply wince in disgust and move on to the next profile, if that second picture doesn't work for you. But what do you do after you've initiated contact with a person based on their "good picture," and then they post a second not so good picture? I've had more than enough online dating experience to know that you pretty much always have to go by the worst picture. You just do. You have to assume that the person looks like the less attractive picture, and if you're okay with that, great. If you're not okay with it, and you've already spoken on the phone, it's awkward.
So I set up a date with just such a woman for tonight. She had one picture posted when we spoke a few days ago. I was browsing online last night when I clicked on her profile to reacquaint myself with her backstory so I know what to expect, and what to discuss on the date, when there they were - two new pictures...both drastically different than the main picture. Had I seen these pictures the first time I clicked on her, I would never have contacted her. I won't get into too many details, but let's just say that first picture was taken a few years and many pounds ago.
So there I am wondering how to get out of this date. Do I just email her saying we'll have to reschedule, and then never contact her again? I thought if I did that, she'd know it was because of the pictures, and I just couldn't do that to another person. I consulted with a friend who said that this woman clearly misrepresented herself before she put the new pics up, and that I was perfectly within my rights to blow her off. I agreed with his cold, heartless logic (he is a lawyer after all), but I still couldn't hurt someone's feelings like that. I decided to just suck it up and go through with it. I thought maybe there was a one in a million chance that she actually looked like the good picture in real life, or maybe I'd just meet someone interesting and have a nice conversation for an hour.
So I go to grab a slice of pizza for lunch and I can't even enjoy it because I'm dreading tonight's date. All that glass half full thinking about her maybe looking like the good picture and meeting someone interesting is out the window. I'm sitting there wondering if it's too late to cancel. Is it now too far past the point of no return since the date is only a few hours away? Is it like a therapist's appointment where you have to give 24 hours notice? I finally resolve myself to the fact that I'm gonna have to just go through with it, when all of a sudden my cell rings. This woman was calling to cancel on ME. She said she'd been thinking about our date, and after discussing it with her friend, she decided I'm not tall enough for her.
Is that bitter irony or sweet salvation? I think I'll stick with the glass half full philosophy on this one, and consider this my lucky day.