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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

THE BACKGROUND CHECK

A couple of weeks ago I had a ho-hum date with a woman. It was one of those dates where you're not really sure if you want to see the person again, but you wouldn't entirely rule out the idea of a second date either. If I were a woman, it would be one of those situations where if the guy called again, I'd go out with him, but if he didn't, it would be fine too. As a guy, I don't have the luxury of letting the woman make or not make the first move so I decided to give it a few days and see how I felt. If the spirit moved me to call her, I would. Otherwise, I wouldn't. Well, the spirit clearly wasn't feeling it so it never moved me, and I never called. It turns out, though, that this woman was quite busy making calls. Not to me, but to every person she could find that knows me.

She called my former employer and my ex-girlfriend's roommate. And those are just the people I know about. I mentioned my former employer on the date so I know why she'd call there as part of the background check. How she got a hold of the ex's roommate, however, is still a bit of a mystery. Apparently she went to camp with the roommate like 20 years ago and was able to somehow figure out that the roommate was living with my ex. Either the world is a lot smaller than I thought, or this mental patient has some serious investigative skills. The only reason I'm even aware of all this is because I happen to be friends with the roommate's brother. I ran into him yesterday and he wanted to know what was up with the "crazy bitch" who called his sister about me. She apparently asked his sister all sorts of questions about how I treated my ex and whether or not she thought I was "good husband material." This woman even admitted to the roommate that she called my former employer and that she couldn't get any information out of them so she really needed the roommate's help. My friend claimed that his sister only had the nicest things to say about me before telling Inspector Head Case that the help she needed could only be provided by a professional.

Obviously, the spirit was right when it failed to move me to call this woman. I'm still a bit concerned about the unmarked van that's been parked in front of my building for the past few days, though.

7 comments:

Linda said...

Clearly she was interested enough to do all that investigating. Too bad she's insane.

julia said...

OK, you had to have made that up....Seriously.. did that really happen?

Martwork said...

You're consistent.....I'll give you that.

JJ said...

Always trust your inner voice...especially when it tells you to avoid lunatics.

Shoshana said...

Hmmm, stalker anyone? And you didn't want to call her?

rebecca said...

I've done the occasional Googling before a date, but to call the man's employers, friends, exes, etc.?? Creepy! Get that van checked out! ;-)

Scraps said...

Geez. She sure sounds like a head case, all right. And people think that the background-checking is nuts in the charedi world?! This goes way beyond anything I've ever heard of before...