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Monday, June 11, 2007

Jdate or J. Springer

I've read countless profiles in which women provide laundry lists of things they're not looking for in a guy. These profiles usually begin with the phrase "Don't Contact Me If," followed by a list of unacceptable traits, living situations, and checking account balances. Personally, I've always found it more productive to focus on what I AM looking for in life rather than what I'm not, but maybe I'm just overly Zen that way. Whenever I read these "Don't Contact Me If" profiles, there's always at least one thing on the list that disqualifies me. Somehow, though, I manage to muster up the courage to go on living, knowing I'll never get to be with these oh so desirable women.

One woman's list recently got me thinking, though. It contained the standard litany of "Don't Contact Me If" items, but the last thing on the list didn't seem like it would be an issue on Jdate. She writes:

"DO NOT respond if you: Live with your parents, Do not live in Manhattan, are under 6'ft, are overweight, dont have a job, have wierd food hangups, have ex-girlfriend/wife/baby's mama drama. Im serious."

Baby's Mama Drama? Did Jdate start recruiting members from the Jerry Springer guest pool while I wasn't looking? Are there men on Jdate who found out they were fathers from Maury Povich? It would actually explain a lot about many of the people on the site.

I have no baby or drama with anyone's mama, but unfortunately, the height requirement will prevent this god's gift to Jdate from ever wanting me. Why is it always the obnoxious, bitchy, spelling challenged women that are so damn unattainable?

5 comments:

Nikki said...

She must be dating the guys who post pictures with their shirts off.

Lou said...

They're unattainable because no one wants to attain them.

Mo said...

Or maybe they're recruiting members from "Cops."

Rebecca said...

Wow, she's better off just dating herself then!

rob said...

6 feet? what Jew would meet that requirement?