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Friday, June 29, 2007


In my quest to cure myself of the disease that is Jdate through extreme overexposure, I've continued to email many, many women. I think I'm up to around eighty something emails in the past few days. With increased marketing, comes increased sales, though, and I actually started to get SOME responses. My batting average was hovering somewhere around that of a spastic little leaguer who only gets more at bats than he should because his father's plumbing supply business sponsors the team.

A handful of responses have gone no further than a word or two. They're what I call "courtesy responses." I'll email a woman, and she'll write back, "Cute," or "LOL," and that's it. I just assume that what I wrote made them laugh or smile enough that they decided to let me know as much, but they're not really that interested...or they're incapable of keeping a conversation going. Either way, it ain't good for me.

The next type of responses I've been getting are the "three and out" responses. These are the women who make an effort to answer my questions, and ask some of their own, but for some inexplicable reason they disappear after no more than 3 emails back and forth. I'm usually left wondering if they just got bored. But these are generally women who are ALWAYS online so I can't imagine that boredom is something with which they're unfamiliar.

Then there are the "phone phobic" women. These are the women who disappear once you ask for a phone number. They seem genuinely interested, and sometimes even shower me with praise, but once I ask for the digits, they're gone. I think they just enjoy the online "excitement" of viewing, and IMing, and so on, but for whatever reason would prefer not to make the experience real...Or maybe they just don't want to make the experience real with me.

At one point I was communicating back and forth with around 12 different women. That number has dwindled down to two, as the others have disappeared into Jdate oblivion. I got both of these women's phone numbers, and left voice mails for each a couple of days ago. Still no call back from either one.

So the question is do I count these two against my batting average, or are they like walks where the at bats don't even get recorded? Either way, T-ball here I come again.


Mo said...

I say give yourself credit for the 2 base hits, but then penalize yourself for getting caught stealing.

mike said...

12 women out of 80 isn't so bad. A lot of guys would be very pleased with a 15% response rate. If you take into consideration that probably half the women don't pay and can't read emails, you're now up to a 30% response.

Linda said...

Sounds promising. Keep hope alive.

isaac said...

I'm with you on the thing about some people not wanting to make the experience real. For a lot of people, it's just about the online game. Nothing more.

Doniamaria said...

I love your blog!! I'm going through the same thing on Match. I'm actually impressed with your "batting average" so to speak. Not one guy I've contacted has ever said anything back. I would even take a courtesy, "Thanks but no thanks," but nothing. All I can say is, keep trying!

Gregg said...

Marc- I found JDate a difficult experience that reminded me of junior high school cliques.

I met someone on and we eventually got married and now have a baby daughter. I also played the numbers game, but it ultimately came down to patience and waiting for the right person to come along.

Anonymous said...

maybe they stopped writing because you didn't take it to the "real world" quick enough. FYI, after 4-5 exchanges, I'm out w/o an invite for coffee, phone number something... nobody pays $40 for a pen pal. oh, and asking a woman out for the same night or to hang out with your friends isn't impressive either. just saying, not sure if you do this, but tips..

Lily said...

All dating sites are what they are... collections of personal ads. If you can't get a date after being on these sites for a considerable amount of time, you're probably an undateable person and should accept your fate of being single forever.