It's been suggested to me by a friend that I should dumb down my profile. Maybe throw in a "my friends and family are very important to me" or two. Perhaps mention how I like to "work hard and play harder," and how "I'm happy with a night on the town, or a romantic evening in." This friend said that my profile was too well written and clever, and that most women won't get my sense of humor.
"They're looking for rich husbands," he said. "Not guys who can write cute little Jdate profiles."
"You wanna try and be funny?," he continued, "write your little blog." "You wanna get women on Jdate? Be boring and successful."
Yes, my friend is a dick. But that dick gets tons of women. He's slightly above average looking, makes a slightly above average salary, and his profile reads like the Jdate cliche' handbook. It's also full of lies. (I fear no reprisals from him because I know he doesn't read my "little blog." He only knows about it from another friend).
When I told him there was no way the words "I'm as comfortable in a tux as I am in sweats" would ever appear in my profile, he called me a stubborn douche bag, and the conversation was over. Maybe I am a stubborn douche bag, but I won't dumb my profile down for the masses because I don't want to meet someone who's just one of the masses. I will not turn my profile into the "According To Jim" of Jdate replete with "LOL"s and smiley faces in place of a laugh track. I'd much rather be the "Arrested Development" of Jdate where few people are watching, but at least I can look at myself in the mirror every day.
13 comments:
I say roll with the humor. For example, include statements like "work slow and play slower," "billionaire in training," "just as happy with a night in as with a romantic evening at a coal mine" or "just as comfortable in polyester as in a burlap bag." There's always "baldness does not run in my family" line, too! With any luck you will get the right kind of woman who gets the jokes. Remember to praise JDate for making the process of finding a mate so EASY. LOL
Or, take the male chauvinist route. Talk about "traditional roles" and that whole "barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen" thing. Make sure that while you are successful, they should expect to be on an allowance.
For those who still don't understand, you might want to throw in a line about understanding sarcasm somewhere.
Hate to say it, but your friend "the dick" is right. Jdate is no different than the real world. There are plenty of interesting people out there, but most are just kind of boring and bland. So if you want to increae your chances, you may have to be equally as boring and bland.
Women may claim that they want a guy who can make them laugh, but for the most part, that's a crock. Your friend is on to something.
Good for you! Quality chicks roll their eyes at the tired cliches and the guys who like to throw their salaries around and act all important because they have some boring finance job where they don't even know what they are doing. If you really want a chick who is going to read your profile, rather than write to you because of your hot pic and high salary, I say keep going the high road. (But it does make the volume go down.)
For the 3 or 4 quality chicks that may actually live in your area, and that happen to be paying members, and that will maybe be interested in your pic, stay with your profile. Otherwise, if you want volume, heed the words of the dick.
Bull.
Well, maybe not.
It depends what your goals are. Do you want quality, or quantity? Do you want to date around, or do you want to date with purpose? If you just want to date casually, then maybe cliches work on that pool of Jdaters.
For myself, however, a well-crafted profile is like the spring of sweet water in the desert (ooh, poetic!). It's what I look for (very often fruitlessly, I might add). An interesting profile can very often make the decision for me.
Why in the world would you WANT to blend in? It's boring.
Good luck!
A woman who writes one of those generic, bland profiles will NEVER appreciate a well written, clever one. They're just incapable. You're writing pieces for the New Yorker for a Glamour Magazine crowd.
I'm w/ Mo. If you're looking for true quality, the odds of finding her on Jdate are slim to nil. Maybe you need to find a site that caters to the less profile writing challenged crowd...if there is such a thing.
I love the idea of a JDATE cliche handbook. I agree that eventually the creativity well does run dry eventually. My profile is just cliches that I have taken from other Jdate profiles. I would not give hope on Jdate completely, think of it as a god way to meet women but not the only way.
"Mustlove2kvetch" Good luck!
Marc, remain true to yourself and don't listen to The Dick! It will take time, but you will find that quality woman when you least expect it (I know that's a cliche, but it's a TRUE one!). I'm a woman who finally found THE ONE on JDate after YEARS of fruitless online dating, so I do know what I'm talking about!
Marc, remain true to yourself and don't listen to The Dick! It will take time, but you will find that quality woman when you least expect it (I know that's a cliche, but it's a TRUE one!). I'm a woman who finally found THE ONE on JDate after YEARS of fruitless online dating, so I do know what I'm talking about!
say something funny that really projects something salient about your approach to life, wants, and needs. If you are looking for the love of your life then you want to attract someone who finds you attractive. Do you really want to end up with someone who is looking for a rich husband?
Psychologists say that physical beauty represents something like the average of each feature in that society. I think that women are looking for certain average features, what they would call normal. To them average is beautiful: it's some kind of attraction to centrality. Common phrases are the currency of any online dating system. They are interpreted symbolically. When you move away from them you lose the rich ambiguity of a symbol. Women are very psychic symbols mean a lot to them. If you're outside the system of symbols you are not normal, for them, aka unattractive. Jdate is not a poetry competition, it is a community. You have to share in the communal rites if you want the girls, or else they'll all go the leaders - those central figures that incorporate all of the common traits of their society.
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