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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Fishing Out of the Wrong Pond

I was speaking to a business associate/friend yesterday who's a divorced man in his early fifties. He too is on Jdate and we were comparing notes on our respective experiences. I thought he'd tell me that he was emailing lots of women and getting very few responses like I was, but such was not even remotely the case. He told me he never initiates contact with women, and that they email him...incessantly. He said within seconds of logging on, he gets inundated with IMs. In fact, he speaks to so many women at once, he can't keep track. I was initially stunned and quite jealous, and I told him so. But he set me straight right away...or more accurately, he gave me an idea.

He told me the 40-49 year old set were all too eager to grab up the guys on Jdate since they know their stock isn't that valuable. They wouldn't dare wait around for guys to contact them because they know most guys, like me, are going after the 27-35 year olds. He suggested that I raise my age limit to the above 40 crowd and see what happens. I generally like to set my age limit to no more than 35, 36 tops, but he insisted that I give it a shot, if for no other reason than to see what would happen.

We were in his office and he told me to log on to Jdate on his computer. I did, and I immediately found a woman who listed her age as 46. She was attractive, so I figured what the hell? She wrote that she was looking for a guy who was born during the Eisenhower administration, and I emailed her asking how she felt about guys born during the Nixon administration. I hit "send," and told my friend I'd probably never hear from her. Within less than a minute, after I refreshed the page, I saw that I had a new message. It was the 46 year old writing, "I have no problem dating someone born during the Nixon administration, if you have no problem dating someone who's really 54."

I thanked my friend for his advice, and found a 29 year old to email. I hit refresh around a dozen times after I emailed her, but no response. Almost 24 hours later, I've hit refresh many more times, and still nothing. I know I'd have more luck in the older pond, but I think I'd rather drown in the one I'm in now.


Brian said...

She's not too far off from the truman administration herself.

Ken said...

If you're 64, 54 is a catch. If you're in your thirties, not so much.

Mo said...

Bring some geritol and a tube of ben-gay and go party with her. She may just rock your world.

Shoshana said...

I do feel for those women, and understand why they have to be so aggressive. Because all the men in their age range are busy emailing chicks WAY too young for them. I can't tell how many e-mails I get from men in their 40's and 50's, even though I clearly state in my profile that I am not interested. Ugh.

Isaac said...

So the guys in their 40s and up don't want the women their age. The women in their 20s and 30s don't want the guys 40 and up, but barely respond to the guys in their 20s and 30s. So how in the hell are people actually hooking up online?

Lou said...

54? Ah, just go for it. You may hate yourself in the morning, but think about the amazing post you'll have for the blog.

Aileen said...

Funny stuff. I just found your blog today (and read all of it including comments).
Ironically, I'm 38, and receive e-mails from 20-somethings more than anything. I guess if I was a guy, and they were not, this would be fabulous.
Oh well.

PS-I especially loved the entry about your Brooklyn grandmother and the "busts."

rebecca said...

Yes, I agree, a little too much of an age difference if you're in your 30s and she's 54. I'm 35 and my boyfriend is 47. I never thought I would be with someone almost 12 years older, but it's working out very well!

Anonymous said...

DD your're a great writer and your blog adds some welcome comic relief to my office day. You had my full sympathy until this post.

When I was on Jdate I got messages from men who were beyond my age range and I never bothered replying. At the time I was 29 and when I got 50 year old men getting in touch it grossed me out.

Why is it so inconceivable to date a woman your own age or even g*d forbid a few years older? I don't get it?

Marc F. said...

same age or a few years problem.

20 years older...big problem!