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Friday, June 15, 2007

CHECK, PLEASE REMARKS

I think we've all had those first dates during which the person you're out with says something that lets you know they're probably not for you. Your date may be perfectly nice, but the moment they make that one remark, they've eliminated themselves from contention. The person on the receiving end of such remarks usually follows them by sighing, eye rolling, or simply asking the waiter for the check. Below are some of my favorite "Check, Please" remarks that I've either heard on dates, or friends of mine have heard (in no particular order):

- "Can I AXE you a question?"

- "I like to sit on my fire ex-scape and watch the stars." (Different woman than above).

- "Pink Floyd...Yeah, she's pretty good."

- "I was in Rikers once, but it was nothing."

- "I don't shower everyday in the winter. What for? It's not like I'm sweating in 20 degree weather."

- "You think you're gonna lose any more hair?"

- "I don't have sex. It hurts too much."

- "My great grandparents are like from Hungaria or somewhere."

- "I'm very gassy today."

Got any of your own? Please share.

13 comments:

Nikki said...

Once had a guy ask me if my "tits were real." Didn't even say "breasts."

Isaac said...

a woman asked me if my family had money on a first date.

Max said...

this chick told me I looked much better in my picture...and then she couldn't understand why I insisted on splitting the check.

Sarah said...

This wasn't on a date, but a guy webcamed me naked. At first I thought he just wasn't wearing a shirt, which was creepy enough, but then he moved the camera around and there he was naked.

rebecca said...

I was on a date with a guy who was extremely picky about what was on the menu and couldn't stop talking obsessively about his diet and how much weight he lost on it. He was worse than a woman! I was actually GLAD to split the check with this loser!

will said...

"Bush isn't so bad." I heard that and date was pretty much over.

larry said...

"Dane Cook is hilarious."...Check, please!

Leon said...

This woman told me she doesn't read newspapers or watch the news. I asked her how she knows what's going on in the world, she said "Star Magazine."...Check, please!

del said...

"You work at [fill in name of employer]? Don't you have to be a Republican to work there?"

ella said...

"Do my fingers smell funny?"...while sticking his fingers in my face.

Mo said...

Don't remember the exact context,but the word "conversating" was used.

julia said...

In discussing rising fuel prices:
Him: It is because of Interpol
Me: Really.. what do the International Police have to do with it?
Him: um...........
Me: Do you mean OPEC?

~~Silk said...

He 1: "I like your shoes. My fiance has some just like that."

He 2: "Any idea where we can score some Vicodan?"

He 3: "We need to find a restaurant with patio dining. I take my dogs with me everywhere." (In Mass., in February)