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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

THE SNEEZE

I guess the pollen count was high yesterday because the woman I went out with was suffering from a pretty bad case of allergies. I tried everything in my power to make her feel better. I offered to run to the pharmacy to get her eye drops or an antihistamine...anything to ease the discomfort. She politely refused. I even asked her if she wanted a rain check on the date so she could just go home and rest. She said she'd soldier through. In a last ditch effort to help this poor soul out, I had an herbal tea waiting for her when she got back from the restaurant's rest room. She smiled and told me I was sweet.

Everything seemed to be going well until shortly after the food came. I was barely three bites into my Chicken Zingara, when my date had a sneeze attack that I thought would require a call to 911. One after another, after another they came. They were small, contained sneezes...except for one. The one that got away...and landed all over my chicken, avocados, tomatoes and onions. She was too busy sneezing to realize, but I saw it happen almost in slow motion. My dinner was ruined. I didn't want to make her feel bad, but I sure as hell wasn't about to eat what was on my plate either so I just sat there aimlessly moving the food around with my fork. When she questioned why I wasn't eating, I told her I'm just a very picky eater.

The date ended with me walking her to the subway. We said goodnight and I told her I hoped she felt better. She smiled, and again told me I was sweet. I sent her an email a bit later to make sure she got home okay, and to suggest we go out again when she felt up to it. She responded this morning with the following:

"Marc, I had a really nice time with you and you're a really sweet guy but I'm afraid I don't see long term potential. I'm looking for a guy who's not quite so finicky; a man's man who can make me feel safe in his arms. I'm sure you'll find someone soon. Best of luck to you in your search :)."

The irony of it is that I'm not finicky at all...except for when my food is full of someone else's snot and saliva! I do appreciate her putting a smiley face at the end of the email, though. It made the fact that she pretty much called me a wuss so much easier to swallow.

8 comments:

yman said...

Hey Marc,
Quite a gentleman sending the girl back home by herself on a train.

AC said...

that's exactly why I'll never eat at a salad bar during allergy season.

Nikki said...

I have bad allergies too and those sneeze attacks can get bad but how about covering your mouth and nose? This girl needs to learn some etiquette.

Roger said...

Kleenex: She should never have left home without it.

Isaac said...

That's why Starbucks is the best place for a 1st date. Worst thing she could have done was sneezed into your frappuccino.

Rebecca said...

Dude, that was way disgusting! You should have told her the truth and ordered another dinner. Why go hungry? She sounded pretty foul anyway, next!

Marc F. said...

It was kind of like when someone accidentally spits on you when they're talking to you. Too awkward to say anything so you just pretend it never happened. I ate some leftovers when I got home.

amy said...

omgosh this entry made me laugh out loud. i've spent my fair share of time doing the online dating dance...and i'm enjoying reading your blog!