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Sunday, May 13, 2007

Immature and Inarticulate

Three days ago, a friend gave me the number of a woman he thought I might like. Typically, when I get a number through a set up, I call almost immediately. I don't play the waiting game. But this time I had to wait. My friend wasn't sure if the number he had was this woman's home number, work number, cell, or if it was her old home number, etc., so he told me to hold off on calling. When my friend told me all this, I was less than enthused. Clearly, he doesn't know this woman well enough to set me up with her, and I'm not a real big proponent of the "you have a penis, she has a vagina so you should go out" philosophy. After I expressed my concerns to him, he assured me he knew enough about her to be confident I'd like her, and that I wouldn't be disappointed. I relunctantly agreed to call once he confirmed her correct number and gave it to me. Yesterday morning he gave me the correct number, and I called that afternoon. After I told her who I was, the conversation went downhill fast. The following is a transcript (as best I can recall) of the conversation:

Her: You were supposed to call 3 days ago.
Me: Actually, there was some confusion about your number so I was waiting to get the right one from Howie.
Her: I don't like guys who play games. I'm too old for game playing. I'm looking for someone serious.
Me: I got your number like 2 hours ago. How is that game playing?
Her: This is probably why you're still single.

It took every fiber of my being not to scream back at her, "
WHY I'M STILL SINGLE?" Instead, the remainder of the conversation went something like:

Me: Uh...I...Uh.
Her: Uh...uh...Is that all you have to say? Immature and inarticulate. You're the perfect man.
Me: Uh...
Her: Goodbye.

She then hung up on me. I've replayed the conversation over and over in my head, each time thinking of something clever I could've said back to her before she hung up...But in the end I suppose I'm glad I didn't say anything, and just stuttered like the immature, inarticulate, perfect man that I am.


Mo said...

Sounds like the "friend" who gave you her number needs to be bitch slapped.

mike said...

i'm all for taking the high road (or the stuttering road, in your case), but this psycho needed to be ripped a new one.

Dwayne said...

Had something similar happen to me once. In my case,though, I didn't call the woman for 2 months not 2 hours. Jeez!

Rebecca said...

Wondering why you didn't publish my comment to your last post. Anyway, she sounds psychotic, next!

Marc F. said...

Sorry, Rebecca. I hit reject instead of publish and blogger wouldn't let me undo it.

del said...

"And you are a perfect b*tch. That's why YOU'RE still single! Sounds like we're made for each other."

You should demand Howie call this stuck up princess and rip her one.

The high road would be to bet her the price of dinner that you are right. She could call Howie and confirm the information, or you can see if a three way call would work.

julia said...

I have to tell you, your blog is my new favorite. I CAN NOT believe people really act this nuts. Kind of suck for you but makes really hilarious reading material (aorry!)

Marc F. said...

No need to apologize, Julia. I could either laugh about it or jump in front of a bus. I think the former is a healthier choice.

Nice Jewish Guy said...

Definitely have Howie call her. And next time he offers to set you up with someone, take a pass.

Hilary said...

Oh, this is why I ask about 20 questions before anyone is allowed to set me up now. I feel your pain.