A little while back I went on a date with a woman who misrepresented her size in her profile. I've grown fairly accustomed to that type of thing, and have learned to accept it as the price of doing business on dating sites. I even blogged about a similar experience in an earlier post. What makes this particular encounter unique, however, is that I made the unfortunate error of giving this woman my AIM screen name. When we first started chatting, she asked for my AIM name because she claimed the IM function on the site didn't work well with her browser. It was around , and I guess wasn't thinking clearly so I gave it to her.
I had no intention of contacting her after the first date, but she started to IM me on a fairly regular basis. The exchanges never lasted more than a few minutes and pretty much consisted of IM small talk. She'd send me the occasional link to some site she found amusing, or tell me how much weight she lost that week, (which I found a bit odd), but that was it. There was never a mention of seeing each other again or even talking on the phone. It was all very casual. I never initiated contact with her, and I'd occasionally not respond to IMs, hoping she'd get the hint. I felt bad about it, but I didn't want to lead her on. Sure, I could've gotten a new screen name, but I've had mine for years and I rely on it to communicate with people for work, not to mention friends and family. Even my grandmother IMs me...and updating her buddy list with my new screen name would require a flight down to Florida because that'll actually be faster than doing it with her over the phone.
So yesterday evening I get an IM from this woman. After the requisite questions about how my day was, she flat out asks me why I haven't asked her out again. I tried to collect my thoughts and think of a polite way to let her down. At first I typed that I've been really busy, but quickly deleted it, thinking that was lame. Then I started to type that I didn't realize she was interested in going out again, and that I thought she just wanted to be friends, but I deleted that too. I knew that wouldn't help my cause, and that I just needed to be honest. Unfortunately, AIM has that feature where you can see the other person typing, and she asked me why I was typing so much without having yet responded. At that point I decided to just bite the bullet, and I gave her the old "you're a great person, but I don't think we're right for each other" routine. After I hit "send," I realized I'm a lot more comfortable being on the receiving end of that line than the giving end. I felt so guilty that I felt the need to follow it up with, "but we can still chat online whenever you want." ... Something I knew she didn't want to hear, and I didn't really want to say.
So there I am feeling guilty about rejecting this woman when a beauty of an IM pops up (copied and pasted here for your reading pleasure - typos and all): "IM SICK OG GUYS JUDGING ME. IM GNNA GET GASTRIC BYPASS SURGRY AND ULL BE SORRY. UL ALL BER SORRY" She then signed off.
Suffice it to say this woman is now on my block list, but I'm more than a little afraid. Will I be sorry because I let her get away, and she's gonna turn into this stunning beauty once the weight's gone?...Or will I be sorry because she's gonna show up at my apartment and go all "Carrie" on my ass.
Maybe I WILL take that trip to