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Saturday, July 9, 2011

HOW THEY GOT HERE

Haven't done this in a while. Here's a list of my favorite keyword searches that landed people on this blog.

"A picture of dick and balls": I knew that was gonna happen with the post about the cock and balls photo. Sorry for wasting your time, dude.

"How to eye fuck without being creepy": That was totally gonna be the tagline for this blog before I went with what I have now. Guess I never fully deleted the text from the blog code.

"Cunnilingus Eastern Orthodox": I'm more a student of the Western Orthodox School of Cunnilingus (easier on the jaw), but I hope you found what you were looking for here.

"Dating blog he ran out of things to say": True, but then I wouldn't have checked my analytics and discovered that people are coming here after searching for: "diamond lundy nude twit pussy."

"My girlfriend and i were at the shore together and two days later i find on her phone that she had taken a picture of herself there and texted it to some guy she knows at work. i asked her about it and she said he was gay then she said he was married and then he was both and then it was a joke what do you think is up.":
Google is a search engine, not a friend you go to for advice, but since you asked already, your girlfriend is full of shit and you should dump her.

"Semen Club NY": Went there once. Waited in line for an hour and the whole place smelled like bleach.

"Do you shave your balls?": Shave, no. Trim, once in a while. But only when it's looking too rabbinical down there.

"I sucked my Jewish grandmother's tits": And I remember rolling my eyes as a kid when I heard mine say, "Come give grandma a kiss."

"Unwiped ass licking": And I thought the grandma titty sucker was left with a bad taste in his mouth.


"Why wouldn't Holly take me to the bathroom with her?": She probably got tired of all the unwiped ass licking.

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5 comments:

s said...

eye fuck without being creepy? or like my fiance's brother's girlfriend - how to eye fuck without his fiancee wanted to knock you the hell out...

some of those are funny as hell. especially that long ass one with the guy asking google for advice. aha.

Chiara said...

I have:

"masturbation with sister"
"porn clubs with strippers"
"i keep calling him and he says go away but i can't"
"teach me to masturbate"
"nipples drunk help"

and many many more fun ones. haha.

Faaiz said...

The human need for emotional connection, love, care, and intimacy is more powerful than we may acknowledge. And, as humans, we seek out one who can provide these for us.

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John Cardero said...

This is too funny, I think I may have actually snorted. Disturbing, but funny.

Emmber said...

Wow kinda scary but really funny.