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Thursday, February 19, 2009


A few weeks ago, I stood on a street corner on the Upper East Side in the bitter cold on a Saturday afternoon, eavesdropping on a conversation between a guy and some woman. I was with a friend who ran into someone he knew, and as they spoke, I was left to listen in on the dialogue between a guy in a suit and a woman in a winter coat - both of whom stood maybe five feet away from me. I listened to the guy tell the chick that he used to work for Citi Group, or Lehman, or some damn bank, but was now either working or interviewing at JP Morgan. I heard the term "VP" thrown about, and I could see a little bit of drool ooze out of the side of the woman's mouth. Nothing this guy was saying was in the least bit interesting, and he had that "financial guy" air about him that just annoyed the shit out of me.

All I could think was why is he wearing a suit at three in the afternoon on a Saturday? Is that the official uniform of dudes who work in finance? Must they wear the suit at all times in case a stock needs to be traded after hours, or if a fund needs to be hedged at a moment's notice - or whatever the fuck it is that these overpaid numbnuts do. More importantly, though, I wondered why the woman in the winter coat was eating up this guy's rap like a fat guy devouring a bag of Slyders at White Castle. He was a decent looking guy in an Aryan Youth sort of way, but he seemed so devoid of character or humor or any semblance of personality.

I was going to chalk the experience up to just another case of some stereotypical Upper East Side chick looking to land a rich banker, but then I read an article in yesterday's NY Times entitled, "City Will Help Retrain Laid-Off Wall Streeters," and I wondered what it is about these greedy, contribute nothing of value to society frat boys in Brooks Brothers suits that gets our collective vaginas all wet? In defense of his plan to use "$45 million in government money to retrain investment bankers, traders and others who have lost jobs on Wall Street," Bloomberg says that such spending is necessary to encourage "innovation and hold onto the talented people who will make it happen.”

INNOVATION?...TALENT? I saw signs of neither coming from the dolt in the $600 suit. Then again, he did get the number of the woman in the winter coat.

Maybe I need to take a trip to Brooks Brothers, get a haircut and an MBA, and learn that greed is good, and personality is bad.


Resolutiongirl said...

When I was single, I dated my share of finance guys and they all consistently sucked. What makes them attractive though is that they come off as confident. They all had fancy titles, which made me think they must be smart (I later learned that the title VP means absolutely nothing in the finance world) and they knew about things I knew nothing about, which was somewhat appealing to me.

But, once you dig deeper, you'll invariably find that underneath the expensive suits are these immature, insecure, commitment phobic, vapid dudes. I really try not to stereotype but, there you have it.

I'd stay away from Brook Brothers and the MBA. Otherwise, you'll be just like every other lame guy in this city.

del said...

You need to see that French movie "Priceless" if you haven't already (starring Audrey Tatou).

Anonymous said...

Out here in California we refer to those finance guys as douchebags. It's universal. - jessica