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Sunday, January 11, 2009


I got an email from "P," a brother in arms who lives in NYC. He asks: "What's up with women not letting you in front of their buildings after a date, especially a good one? Why are they so afraid of their doormen seeing them with a guy? Has this ever happened to you?"

Simple question. Simple answer: They don't want their doormen to think they're skanks. I don't live in a doorman building, so I don't quite appreciate the complexities of the doorman/resident relationship. Apparently, all doormen are busybody douchebags who thrive on talking shit about everyone in the building. They are supposedly the world's worst yentas. What you're describing, "P," has happened to me so many times, I've lost count. Don't take it personally. It's not necessarily that they're ashamed of being seen with you - or maybe they are. I don't know you. But it's more likely because they don't want the doorman seeing them with a different guy every week, or day. Doormen apparently don't understand the concept of dating, and just assume that if a woman is with a guy, she MUST be fucking him, and if she's with multiple guys on multiple days, she must be getting gang banged by them all. I get it.

Unless you're officially the boyfriend, or the fiancee, they don't want the doorman to know about you. I've been on good dates where the woman has cut me off a half block away from her building, so we can make out without the doorman seeing. If you think just being seen with a dude will make the doorman think a chick is banging a guy, kissing one in front of a doorman will make the doorman think the chick is getting paid for it.

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