I don't like the nightlife, nor do I like to boogie. And this is a problem for the woman I spoke with last night.
"How could you not love the nightlife here?," she asked, as if I'd insulted her personally with my attack on the New York bar/club/lounge scene.
"I don't need to get drunk in public, and I don't dance, or do Ecstasy so...," I replied.
"But there are so many cool places in the city."
"Absolutely. But to me, the bars and clubs are all the same."
"So what do you usually do on a Saturday night? Stay home?," she said mockingly.
"If there's nothing I feel like doing, then yes, I stay home on Saturday night. In fact, I enjoy staying home....does that make me uncool?," I asked.
"It doesn't make you cool," she responded coldly.
"I guess I'm not cool then," I said.
"What did you do last Saturday night?," she was dying to know.
"I don't recall exactly, but it involved weed and an episode of the Flintstones."
"So you'd rather sit home, get high, and watch the Flintstones?"
"If it's between that and waiting in the cold to get into some club, then abso-fuckin-lutely."
"Why are you so anti-social?," she inquired. "When you go out, you get to meet people."
"Did you meet anyone at the club you went to last Saturday night?"
"Not really. I went with my friends...but..."
"I didn't meet anyone either," I said, not letting her finish. "But at least I got to watch the Flintstones."
"When was the last Saturday night you went out? Not like on some shitty Jdate, or whatever. But 'out' out."
"Once I leave my building, I'm 'out' out. But I know what you're getting at. It was a few weeks ago. I went to some lounge."
"And how was it?"
"Not nearly as good as the Flintstones."
She faintly chuckled. It was hard to tell if she was laughing at, or with me.
"Doesn't really sound like we're a match," she said, sighing.
"Nope. But the next time a friend drags me to a bar or lounge, maybe I'll see you there."
"Maybe...well, good night," she said.
We hung up, and I started to think maybe I should make plans for Saturday night. This chick had a point. There's more to life than the Flintstones.
I immediately got up, and took action. I walked over to the TV and made sure I still had those 6 unwatched Chachi shows on the DVR. My Saturday night is now booked.