I'm a big believer in the "One and Done" rule when it comes to calling women. You call her once, if she's interested, she'll call you back. End of story. I have friends who feel that calling twice is fine. I even have one friend who thinks that calling until a woman is forced to change her number is fine, but I stand firmly by my credo. So when I called this chick whose number I'd gotten from a friend, and the chick never called me back, I was done. Her number was lost, and the thought of her very existence deleted from the portion of my brain responsible for remembering random women who don't call back.
The other day, I got a call from the friend who tried to set me up to ask what was going on with the above referenced chick. "I called her," and she never called back, I said. "That's what's going on."
"So you call once, and that's it?," she retorted.
"One and done, baby. That's how I roll," I said.
"If you're interested, you call again," she bitched to me.
"Who said I was interested?," I bitched back.
"So why am I bothering giving you numbers, if you don't call?"
"I did call. She's the one that didn't call," a fact I felt she wasn't grasping.
"So she likes to be chased," she responded. "Is that so horrible?"
"Actually, it is," I said. "I'm not a fuckin' bounty hunter. I don't chase people. She got my message, she has my number. She's welcome to call me back at her leisure."
"You're the guy. She's not gonna call you back," was her brilliant observation on male /female relationships.
"So then if we start dating, I can never leave her a voicemail. I always have to get her on the phone in order to speak to her because 'I'm the guy,' and she doesn't call guys back?," I asked.
"In the beginning, that's the way it works with dating," she said.
"That's exactly the way it DOESN'T work with dating," I said, thinking I was being so profound.
"Look, just call her again. I think you'd like her," she whined.
"I already don't like her," I said.
"Maybe she never got the message," she said.
"She got the message," I responded smugly.
"How do you know?," she protested.
"When was the last time you spoke to her?"
"Over the weekend."
"And did you ask her, if I called?"
"Yes," she responded, admitting defeat with her tone, knowing she was about to be busted.
"And what did she say?," I continued even more smugly.
She sighed, and barely audibly said, "Yes."
"Anyway, 'Family Guy's' on, and I've only seen this episode 600 times. Gotta go," I said.
"Uuuch! You're such an asshole," she moaned.
"Uh huh. Until you find the next "perfect girl" for me....Just make sure she calls guys."
We hung up, and then Stewie made me laugh.