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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

One and Done

I'm a big believer in the "One and Done" rule when it comes to calling women. You call her once, if she's interested, she'll call you back. End of story. I have friends who feel that calling twice is fine. I even have one friend who thinks that calling until a woman is forced to change her number is fine, but I stand firmly by my credo. So when I called this chick whose number I'd gotten from a friend, and the chick never called me back, I was done. Her number was lost, and the thought of her very existence deleted from the portion of my brain responsible for remembering random women who don't call back.

The other day, I got a call from the friend who tried to set me up to ask what was going on with the above referenced chick. "I called her," and she never called back, I said. "That's what's going on."

"So you call once, and that's it?," she retorted.

"One and done, baby. That's how I roll," I said.

"If you're interested, you call again," she bitched to me.

"Who said I was interested?," I bitched back.

"So why am I bothering giving you numbers, if you don't call?"

"I did call. She's the one that didn't call," a fact I felt she wasn't grasping.

"So she likes to be chased," she responded. "Is that so horrible?"

"Actually, it is," I said. "I'm not a fuckin' bounty hunter. I don't chase people. She got my message, she has my number. She's welcome to call me back at her leisure."

"You're the guy. She's not gonna call you back," was her brilliant observation on male /female relationships.

"So then if we start dating, I can never leave her a voicemail. I always have to get her on the phone in order to speak to her because 'I'm the guy,' and she doesn't call guys back?," I asked.

"In the beginning, that's the way it works with dating," she said.

"That's exactly the way it DOESN'T work with dating," I said, thinking I was being so profound.

"Look, just call her again. I think you'd like her," she whined.

"I already don't like her," I said.

"Maybe she never got the message," she said.

"She got the message," I responded smugly.

"How do you know?," she protested.

"When was the last time you spoke to her?"

"Over the weekend."

"And did you ask her, if I called?"

"Yes," she responded, admitting defeat with her tone, knowing she was about to be busted.

"And what did she say?," I continued even more smugly.

She sighed, and barely audibly said, "Yes."

"Anyway, 'Family Guy's' on, and I've only seen this episode 600 times. Gotta go," I said.

"Uuuch! You're such an asshole," she moaned.

"Uh huh. Until you find the next "perfect girl" for me....Just make sure she calls guys."

We hung up, and then Stewie made me laugh.

16 comments:

Nice Jewish Guy said...

Hysterical... I tend to agree. If a woman's interested, she'll call back.

Isaac said...

I'm with you on the one and done. Anything else is game playing.

Miranda said...

It depends on the message you leave, if indeed you leave a message at all. If communication is clear, us women will understand you're interested and that the ball's now in our court.
If you failed to make those two points, one more follow up call is not so wildly out of the question.

mo said...

She wanted to be chased...I love that. Who are these women and what makes them so special that they need to be chased?

rebecca said...

This is the 21st Century! It's perfectly fine for women to call men. If she's still stuck in the 1950's with her thinking, then you aren't missing out on much!

jared said...

She sounds very chase worthy...if you had just gotten out of prison maybe.

Anonymous said...

Oh please... women don't "need" to be chased. In fact, if a woman gives in without a chase, it's likely she will no longer be deemed chase-worthy!

Marc F. said...

Miranda, is "Give me a call when you have a chance. I look forward to speaking with you" clear enough? That's my standard line. I use it every time. When the women are mature adults, and are interested, they call back.

Anonymous, you may want to burn your copy of "The Rules." It no longer applies. Guys have too many options nowadays to chase one chick.

Miranda said...

Well... that sure told me!

I was just trying to explore the options here, giving the chick (and you) the benefit of the doubt. But I guess she's just another immature woman who's not interested in you.

Ouch! ;)

Anonymous said...

Guys are always banging on about "The Rules" and then moaning about "Game Playing". Seems like men and women need a little more teamwork, wouldn't you say?

And as for "Guys have too many options nowadays to chase one chick" ...if that's the way you all really think, I give up.

Marc F. said...

Anonymous, let me rephrase: Guys have too many options to chase a chick who makes no effort to reciprocate.

Miranda, I fully understand what you were saying. I was just clarifying exactly what went down. And yes, she was clearly uninterested and or immature...which is fine.

Miranda said...

Ok, I'm throwing one more thing out there - maybe there is another category outside of 'immature' and 'uninterested'?

Some girls are actually kind of nervous to call up a guy they don't know... even if he's left a message asking her to call when she gets the chance. I don't know if nerves and immaturity equate to the same thing, maybe they do.

Also... how would she know if she was interested in YOU if she doesn't even know you?

I'm guessing you're not taking it too personally :)

Samantha said...

I am a girl and I agree with the one and done rule for guys. That girl was being an idiot. However, the only loophole I find in the rule is if a guy calls a girl and does not leave a message. I don't think a missed call without a message warrants a call back from a girl. I would expect that if a guy did not leave a message, he was planning on calling back a second time to try and actually get her on the phone. Other than that, one and done, and for girls calling guys as well.

Marc F. said...

Samantha, I completely agree about the loophole of not leaving a message. Such was not the case here, however.

Miranda, it's perfectly possible that she was uncomfortable calling back. I can't be a chick's therapist, though. If she has issues with calling guys, she has to deal with them, if she wants to be out in the dating world. For $100 a session, she could be taught the skills necessary to be a responsible member of the dating community.

Miranda said...

Mmm hmm. Or she could just read your blog for free.

Anonymous said...

Here's an addition to the one & done rule. She must also call back within 24 hours. Exceptions are few (hospitalization) in this age of the cell phone.

This applies at all stages of dating.