So you know the old cliche of getting a fake call during a date telling you your grandma died so that you could leave? Well here's an interesting variation on that theme. This weekend I went out with a woman who insisted on having her phone on the table during the date. Apparently, grandma was in dire straits over at Mount Sinai, and she wanted to know the second anything happened. What followed were no fewer than 7 phone calls that she answered during the date. As I listened in, I learned that grandma had had some sort of stroke and was touch and go. I told her that if she needed to go to the hospital, I would totally understand, but she insisted on staying and taking those calls. She claimed that her sister was at the hospital and she didn't want to see her. Apparently, they hate each other. Instead, she was having her mother call her with the play by play, as I sat there having to listen to this chick tell her mother what a bitch her sister was, and how she was only at the hospital because she felt guilty. "Where was she when grandpa was dying? All of a sudden she gives a shit?," I heard her whine.
Now I'm not one for soap operas. In fact, I had my fill this month when I went to visit my own grandmother in Brooklyn and we watched "One Life To Live" together. It was on when I came to visit, and she can't miss it so I was stuck watching horribly written and poorly acted dialogue while my grandmother explained to me who was banging whom.
So by the time I heard this woman go off on how there was no way her sister was getting grandma's jewelry, if she kicked, I knew it was time for my exit. I got her to put the phone down long enough to tell her that I really needed to go, but that I hoped everything worked out with her grandmother. Her response to my attempted exit and well wishes was an angry, "SO GO!" And I did.
She left me a semi-apologetic voicemail the next day explaining how she wasn't angry at me and that I shouldn't take it personally. She suggested we try another date. I thought about it for a while, but decided if I want that kind of drama in my life, I'll DVR "One Life To Live." At least then, I'll have more to talk about with my own grandmother.