I've read many a "Do Not Contact Me If" list, but this one is an instant classic:
"Do NOT contact me if: You have Cats(Gay!) You are in therapy more than one time a week You enjoy listening to Liza, Barbara, or Cher(also Gay...) You are unemployed You are Insecure You are affraid to commit You like to cook more than I do (again... Gay!) I have had enough of CRAZY...Looking for a NYC man who has his act together...I have to believe you are out there."
This woman clearly has HER "act together" and doesn't need therapy more than once a week so if you're an NYC man who enjoys gay bashing, and uttering phrases like "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve," then this spelling and punctuation challenged chick may be for you. Find her fast because winners like her get snatched up quickly. Oh wait! Did I just use a form of the word "snatch?" That must mean I have snatch on the brain, and I'm not gay. Now I can definitely contact her. ...I'm an NYC Man who has his act together, my darling! And not only am I out there, but I'm comin' to get ya!
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9 comments:
If she's "had enough of crazy" it's because she's spending too much time looking in the mirror.
This is actually quite offensive. I'm surprised the Jdate police posted her profile.
She believes he's out here. Pretty funny. Click your heels together, bitch, and maybe he'll appear...with a cat and a Liza minelli boxed set in hand.
Hey, at least she is honest. Many more think the same way but put on a friendlier facade. In fact, most think along the same lines. How would your profile look if you were brutally honest?
As I always say, there's a right way and a wrong way to express yourself. She could've simply written: "I prefer masculine over effeminate men." Would've made the same exact point.
And if her profile were TRULY brutally honest, she'd write, "I'm an angry, bitter asshole who has so many issues you'd be best served to move on to the next profile."
You blog reminds me of www.unbrokenglass.com . Check it out. It had some interesting stories. The author, a girl, was critical and dissatisfied with the dating scene similarly to you, but she found the right guy in the end.
How very stereotypical and narrow-minded she is! My boyfriend loves to cook and I hate it, and he is FAR from gay! And there is absolutely NOTHING gay about a man liking cats! What a freakin' lunatic she is--hope she doesn't procreate!
Oh my. I had to just step away for a while after reading this one.
What a heifer.
She should move, as apparently straight men with a modicum of culture and humanity are not her cup of tea.
I personally have recently found a very masculine man who likes cats (and animals in general), can cook (I too don't always dig it), and likes some pretty cheesy music despite being pretty damn macho in other ways.
Dude. Enjoy your respite from j-date.
Hello everybody! My name is Anna. I am looking for a guy to meet and more. I love various experiments and therefore I need a strong and brave guy) You can write to my mail annafirst10@gmail.com
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