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Friday, June 1, 2007

A Big Pile of...

I called yet another woman last night, and as I told her who I was, I heard the sound of papers being shuffled about through the phone. I asked her if I had reached her at a bad time, perhaps in the middle of doing some important work. She said she was just looking for my profile, and asked if I could hold until she found it. There must have been quite a few of them because I heard a lot of papers being moved around. It took about half a minute before she proclaimed triumphantly, "Here you are.You were in the wrong pile." Apparently there's a "guys she's already gone out with" pile, and a "guys she hasn't yet gone out with" pile. I'm all for being organized, and I'm not even saying that her filing system is a bad idea, but there are things you share on a first phone call, and things you don't. This fell into the latter category. No one wants to hear that they were pulled from a pile of something. It's one step above stepping in a pile of something.

I tried helping her out by explaining how she could file all the profiles digitally without wasting all that paper and ink, but she said that as a teacher, she's used to dealing with big piles of papers when she grades tests. When she said that, I imagined my printed profile lying in the "guys she's gone out with" pile after our first date. My grade would be handwritten in big red ink across my picture. If the date went really well, she'd hang my profile on her bulletin board for everyone to see. If it went really poorly, she might ask my parents to come in and see her.

We spoke for a bit. She was nice enough, but there was something off about her. About fifteen minutes into the conversation she claimed she had to go, and that she'd call me back in a little while. She never did, and I was kind of relieved.

I wonder if there's a "guys she's blown off who weren't really that interested in her anyway" pile.

7 comments:

Nikki said...

I've actually printed out profiles to keep track of who's who, but you're right, you don't tell someone that you have to look them up like that. It's tactless.

Kira said...

marc, you should totally write/do a standup routine based on these stories. they're pretty damn funny. ever do an open mic night?

Marc F. said...

Thanks, Kira. Standup isn't really my thing. I prefer to entertain people for free without a cover or 2 drink minimum.

rebecca said...

That was a funny post, I laughed out loud! Mentally file her in the circular file!

cousin sweater guy said...

The pile you were referring to is right alongisde a huge pile of people that wouldnt give her a second glance were she to meet them in real life.

Del said...

From a strictly environmental viewpoint I would want to make sure that she is recycling all this paper, of course. It might even be worth a phone call to find this out! LOL

Wither that or call the fire department. All those papers might be turning her place into a fire trap.

Look at the bright side -- you missed out on all that dust.

artinreality said...

I just came across your blog, and all I have to say is: Hang in there! It's really worth it in the end! If you can still joke about it, you're still good. Nothing to worry about it, and your beshert/soul mate/accidentally met girl/etc is out there somewhere! God knows i used to have a lot of funny stories to tell about my dating experiences (I had some really, really bad dates!), but then I got married - and who wants to hear about that, right? Have a great week!