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Friday, June 22, 2007

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Please Don't Make Me A Match

I recently joined a site called Jretro Match. This site differs from traditional dating sites in that they assign you a matchmaker who is responsible for sending you matches. The matchmaker is supposed to base his or her matches on some semblance of perceived compatibility, but in reality, it's your standard "you have a penis, she has a vagina so you should go out" system. I've seen Jretro's billboards on buses so they have money to spend on advertising. Unfortunately, none of those marketing funds are being spent on the design of the site since it looks like something my grandfather's synagogue would put up, if they ever decided to go online and post prayer times. It's typical Jewish shlock. It's got that kosher deli with dirty tables motif, without any of the charm.

So I sign up for their free plan just to give it a try. Within a two week period, I get all of one match that's so not even close to what I said I was looking for that I pull my profile. When I saw the picture of the "match" they sent me, I was actually even insulted that my "matchmaker" thought that this woman and I were compatible. Maybe it was just a bad picture, but she looked like Abe Vigoda with eye shadow.

I figured maybe the matchmakers weren't making much of an effort on my behalf since I wasn't a paying member. So I decided to contact my cousin who is a paying member of Jretro's parent site, "Saw You at Sinai," a site that provides the same type of matchmaking service as Jretro for orthodox Jews. The name stems from the belief that all Jews met their respective soul mates at Mount Sinai when god gave the Jews the Ten Commandments, and that these soul mates are now being reacquainted on this matchmaking site. So my cousin allowed me to log into his account to see what kind of service this company provides its paying members. As I looked at his "matches," I could only think that the name of the site should be changed to "I saw you at Sinai...And I started to gag then too." My cousin is what would be referred to as a modern orthodox Jew, and they were sending him women that looked like extras from "Fiddler on the Roof." These are women who want to cover their heads after marriage, and not have TVs in their homes. My cousin is as open to that type of lifestyle as I am. These "matchmakers" clearly make us much effort finding matches for their paying members as they do for their non-paying members.

So to Jretro and Saw You at Sinai I say,"Shame on you!" And to Jdate I say, "Here's my credit card for another month." Oy!

11 comments:

Isaac said...

I know a couple of "matchmakers" from those sites. You're right. They make no real effort to find suitable matches.

Nikki said...

I'm still scratching my head over that "Saw You At Sinai" concept, but sounds like a complete waste of time and money.

Leon said...

Maybe the site's low rent on purpose. Maybe that's what the whole "retro" thing is about.

mike said...

There's retro and there's low rent. The two are not interchangeable. Jretro has a definite low rent, geocities website vibe to it.

rebecca said...

That comment about women covering their heads after marriage and no TV in the home remind me of my brother and sister-in-law. If that's the way they want to live, fine, but definitely not my style! Glad I didn't try those websites!

Ron said...

Real retro would not be using these websites in the first place. WHich reminds me -- awhile ago you posted about doing some services instead. What happened with that?

Marc F. said...

Not sure what services you're talking about.

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Anonymous said...

Basically in short,i accepted a match on saw you at Sinai and after speaking on the phone with the girl i felt it wasn't a match. However she seemed nice and thought she would be a good match for my brother.The girl was very happy and excited about it. The next week i get a call from the sawyouatsinai main office stating that i am no longer going to be able to be a member on the site. I tried asking to speak to a supervisor but i was told that no one wants to speak with me! They also said if i called again,i will be removed from the sister site of yuconnects! This type of behavior is uncivilized, rude, unfair, and in beach of my rights. They didn't even bother to ask me about my side of the story!

Anonymous said...

So basically you are discontent because the matches made you "gag" and other wonderfully insulting descriptions. If they are not for you, that's fair enough, but you sound extremely superficial.
Secondly, "These are women who want to cover their heads after marriage, and not have TVs in their homes.". well YES - that's what most ORTHODOX women would say, and is to be expected if you sign up to a sight dedicated to ORTHODOX singles... I hope you have by now had some "luck" and found someone that meets your requirements...