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Thursday, May 10, 2007

Paper Plates and Prophylactics

Took a ride out to the burbs yesterday to spend a little time with the folks. While I'm there, my mother sends my father out on a run to National Wholesale Liquidators, and since I don't get to spend much time with the old man, I go along for the ride. We're in line to pay for the discount paper plates and plastic forks when what do I see hanging next to the AAA batteries, but a pack of condoms?...and for 99 cents yet. Now keep in mind that National Wholesale Liquidators is a store where the white tube socks they sell are dirty inside the sealed bag. If these guys are repackaging used, dirty socks, I don't want to know what's going on with the condoms. So my father sees me eyeing the Trojans and he says to me, "You running low? You wanna grab a pack?" Now god bless the man for having such confidence in his boy, but I'm far from "running low." Clearly, he doesn't read this blog. Luckily the cashier diverted his attention, and I didn't have to answer him. I just didn't have the heart to tell him I'm still working on the 3 pack I bought over a year and a half ago.

11 comments:

mike said...

i feel your pain, bro...i never like buying more than a single pack so as not to jinx myself.

Joe said...

A year and a half???? Dude, you need to get working on that.

Nikki said...

don't listen to joe. you hold out for the right one, marc.

steve said...

If your pops was willing to spring for them, you should've gotten a bunch. Like they say in the lottery ads - "Hey, you never know."

Marc F. said...

Sadly, Steve, sometimes you do know.

Sarah said...

Nat.Wholesale Liquidators is awesome...but I'll never buy socks there now. Yuck.

Rebecca said...

Too funny, Marc! There's a National Wholesale Liquidators near me. Great bargains, but like you said, probably questionable to buy condoms there. Hope your 1 1/2 year back hasn't expired yet!

Rebecca said...

Pack, not back, oops!

Marc F. said...

Rebecca, those things last like 5 years. I'm good for a while.

Del said...

Maybe you should have had your father buy you a lottery ticket to see which gets you "lucky" first? ;)

Spring said...

This post is extremely funny. I think you should write a book. You might be rich. Hey, you never know.