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Saturday, May 19, 2007

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME

For the past couple of weeks I've been playing phone tag with a woman I'd gone out with recently. We had two decent, albeit very quick dates, and I was planning on asking her out for a third. The other day I finally got her on the phone and asked her out. As soon as I did, she started to hem and haw, and I knew right away there would be no date number three. I'm not the type of guy who needs an explanation about why a woman doesn't want to go out with me after only a date or two. The fact that she's not interested is more than enough for me, but this woman actually gave me the "It's not you, it's me" line. It was completely unsolicited, and I accepted it for what it was - a clich├ęd blow off line. I tried to politely extricate myself from the conversation, knowing I'd never see this woman ever again, but she kept going. What should have been a five minute phone call turned into a forty five minute therapy session, during which this woman completely redefined the term "over share."


During the course of the conversation, I learned that she tried to jump of a roof at the age of 14, that she enjoys being urinated on, if it’s with the right guy, and that she only gets periods four times a year.


All this in response to, "Wanna catch a movie?"


This chick is either so determined not to go out with me again that she’ll go to extreme lengths to convince me she’s insane, or she actually is insane. I vote for “all of the above.”


The upside is that either way you look at it, it really is her, not me!

9 comments:

Sarah said...

At least she was honest when she said it's not you its me.

Rebecca said...

Dude, seriously, where are you finding these women?? They make the rest of us women look terrible! Luckily, you seem mature enough to realize that not all women are criminally insane like the examples you've been posting. I sure hope your luck improves!

Mo said...

Sounds like one of those perfect "I'm about to drive thru a tunnel so I may lose you" moments. Then you hit "end."

Steve said...

Can you hear me now? Click!

julia said...

I use this all the time... "oh, I am so sorry but I have to run..." bye!

Matthew Sephton-Pike said...

Hahaha.. I stumbled across your Blog entirely by accident, but it cheered me up. Made me laugh, this post. Unlucky!

SaraK said...

Call waiting...best invention to get unwanted people off the phone. Just tell her you have another call coming in that you REALLY have to take.

Shoshana said...

And this chick you wanted to go out with a third time? Wow, you sure know how to pick them :)

matthew said...

I believe that there is Seinfeld episode like this occurence. This girl went George Castanza on you.