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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

JPICKS: ANOTHER THING JDATE SUCKS AT

JPicks.com | Check out the latest chosen deal™!




I haven't been on Jdate in years now, but I still recall the tinge of excitement I felt when I got an email from them informing me that someone had contacted me. Could it be the beautiful, intelligent, funny, sweet woman I'd been searching for? I would think. Had she found me amidst the sea of men posing with their shirts off who lied about their heights and their incomes, and whose profiles contained such poetic gems as: "I like to work hard and play hard"?

And no matter how many times I'd log in only to find that I'd been emailed or teased (is that what they called it? I forget) by a blue box from Ghana whose desired age range for the man of her dreams is 0-99, I'd naively remain hopeful each time I got a Jdate email. Now, after so much time has passed without seeing the word Jdate in my inbox; without having to look at that red heart in their logo that's supposed to represent love for Jews, (I guess); without having to be mocked and ridiculed and have $40 a month charged to my Amex; without experiencing any love for Jews, only agita for me and everyone out there who had to listen to me bitch about that fucking site, the memory of all that heartache is returning now that Jdate has decided to get in on the Groupon fad.

So because Jdate is trying to create new sources of revenue by providing me with "JPicks" that are as useful to me as a West African woman without a digital camera, I need to relive the horrors of those fruitless months looking for Jew love in all the wrong places. Although come to think of it, the woman from Ghana might have been a queen or an heiress to a large fortune that only I could help her withdraw from the Swiss bank account in which the money was stuck due to her father the king being kidnapped by rebel forces. With JPicks all I get is a discount on an overpriced falafel plate at a restaurant IN FUCKING LOS ANGELES!

Thanks Jdate!



Value:
$40
Discount:
50%



You Pay:

$20


GET THE DEAL



3 comments:

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Rashed Ahmmed said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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