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Friday, March 27, 2009


To: Me

Subject: Nothing can seduce women faaster than a...

This is your penis: 8--o
This is your penis on drugs: 8=====O

Any questions?


Just one. How hard is it to do a google image search for a small dick and a big dick? This is the problem with today's Guitar Hero/American Idol society. Everyone wants instant gratification or a quick buck without making any effort. The more technologically advanced we get, the shlockier we become. In 1982, on a Commodore 64, it was hilarious to see a cock and balls drawn using an "8, " a bunch of dashes, and a "0." In 2009, it's a symbol of utter laziness.

It's this type of "something for nothing" philosophy that has caused our current financial crisis. We can't simply blame the greedy hedge fund managers for the fall of our economy. The average Joe on Main Street who refinanced the house he never should have bought to begin with and cashed out because it was "free money" is just as guilty.

Bailouts and other forms of government handouts will never pull us out of the economic shit hole in which we find ourselves. Only when we're ready to roll up our collective sleeves and become actual productive members of society will this crisis end.

What this country needs is more people willing to make the effort to search for pictures of dicks! ...And I'll be more than happy to testify to that in front of Congress.

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