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Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Texter

In the world of cell phones, I always thought there was nothing more obnoxious than calling a white person and having to listen to 30 seconds of their favorite gangsta rap song while "the system tries to find them." That is, until last night's pre-date phone conversation with the latest blog specimen:

Me: So I'll meet you there at 8.
Her: I'll text you during the day. I'm not sure what my schedule's gonna be like.
Me: Actually, my phone doesn't accept text messages.
Her: Why not?
Me: I have that feature shut off.
Her: Who doesn't text? It's the best invention ever.
Me: Between the little keypad you have to type with, and not knowing all the text message shorthand, it's just not my thing.
Her: I text my friends all day long. It's how I survive.

Well, I'm not 14, I thought to myself, but what I said was:

Me: If you like, you can email me from your phone.
Her: Nah, that's okay.
Me: So just call me then and let me know.
Her: To be honest, I don't think I can date someone who doesn't text.

I paused for a moment, wondering if I had actually just heard her say that she doesn't date people who don't text. Like she doesn't date smokers or something. What's next?, I thought. Would us non-texters be forced to stand outside of restaurants and bars in the freezing cold, making regular phone calls, while the texters got to stay inside. Or would there be texting and non-texting sections with the non-texters being hermetically sealed off from the rest of the people in our own little technology challenged bubble?

Then she continued:

Her: I'm just really busy, and don't have time to talk to people all the time.
Me: So when you go on a date with a guy, do you just sit across from one another, and text each other, or do you have an actual conversation?
Her: Huh? What're you talking about?
Me: Nothing. Never mind.
Her: I don't see what the big deal is? You should start texting.
Me: Nah, that's okay.

And the conversation was pretty much over. But at least now, I won't be as annoyed when I call my friend, the whitest, most rhythmically disabled person on the planet, and get sent to voicemail after half a minute of sitting through: "Mothafucka you retarded. You touch 50, I'll leave you dearly departed!"


nolan said...

I've always found song ringtones offensive, but that "on hold" music is annoying as hell.

henny said...

You could text her through your email saying: GLBAFTROYLB...good luck being alone for the rest of your life, beeyotch.

nikki said...

I've heard of people using the lamest excuses not to date people, but disqualifying someone for not being a texter has got to be one of the all time most ridiculous.

rebecca said...

Wow, she sounds incredibly immature, you sure aren't missing out on much!

del said...

You can tell her that ever since you read Harry Potter, you've taken to sending messages via owl!

Miranda said...

I'm a texter. I've a friend who doesn't text (annoying when I want to text her, but forgivable). I've had unwanted texts at unearthly hours of the morning/night. I've had a guy tell me that he wished he'd just texted me after a particularly awkward phone conversation (!). And I've had dirty text talk ;) Been there, done that. Text is cool, but to say I wouldn't date a non-texter... that is just stupid.
If that chick was smart, she would have dated you long enough to persuade you to turn the text thing on, while making you think it was actually all your idea.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you, although I am past the dating thing, I laugh when I read dating blogs and refer to the amount of texting. The girl seems to think things are moving along because he is texting her, yet he does not call her or set firm plans. It is a totally lame way to pursue members of the opposite sex. If you can not pick up the phone to set a date, than there is a red flag. Julia

Nice Jewish Guy said...

I've texted, and I'm certainly not a technophobe or Luddite, but honestly-- actual talking is just so much more time and energy efficient. There are times I'll cut an IM session short and call the person. In the amount of time it takes to thumb out all those letters, you could have had a whole conversation. I think people who hide behind text and email are doing just that-- hiding behind text and email. They aren't comfortable with actual human interaction. And you're better off without such a girl!

texter-fan said...

haha - nice story. not being a texter? you re disqualified!

Anonymous said...

Afer being dumped via a text message, I actually have a rule of not dating guys who use text message or email as their means of communication. People regress so much these days. It is so annoying!what happened to people spending time writing love letters? me old fashion.