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Thursday, May 24, 2007

JUDAISM 101

I ran into a friend yesterday who was on his way to synagogue to celebrate the Jewish holiday of Shavuot. We began to talk, and eventually the conversation veered towards the topic of women and dating. Though my friend is married, he suggested with a wink that synagogue was a great place to meet pious women, and that I should join him. I wasn't quite sure if "pious" was a euphemism for something not pious at all, but I was late for a meeting and didn't have time to get into it with him. However, the mention of piety and holidays reminded me of an incident I had with a woman from Jdate a while back.

The woman in question gave me her number, and as is my custom, I called the next day. I got her voicemail and left a message. A few hours later, I got a call back from a woman so irate I actually got a little scared. She yelled at me for calling her on a Jewish holiday while she was with her family. Her cell phone was apparently on while she was sitting down for a meal, and I embarrassed her in front of her orthodox family. Her father was furious with her, and her grandmother was practically in tears, she explained. All MY fault, of course. Now one might ask why she had the ringer on, or why the cell phone was with her at all, if having it ring was such an issue, but rational thought was apparently not her strong suit.

When I told her I didn't realize it was a holiday, her response was, "What the F&#% kind of Jew doesn't know it's a holiday?!" I tried to explain that I wasn't brought up with an orthodox background, and that I simply wasn't aware of the dates of non-major holidays. She then suggested I get a Jewish calendar, called me an "inconsiderate asshole," and told me it wasn't going to work out between the two of us. I remember thinking if only her poor yiddishe grandma could hear how passionate her granddaughter was about her religion, she'd be able to wipe away the tears I caused her to shed.

The woman, however, did make me feel mildly guilty that I wasn't that up to speed on the traditions of my people so I actually got the calendar. I put an "X" next to every Jewish holiday so I know when not to call bitchy, pseudo-religious chicks from Jdate.

4 comments:

Isaac said...

You may want to heed the advice of your friend. There are some hotties at some of thesynagogues I've been to and they often have singles functions.

mike said...

Damn. If you're getting that from Jdate, you definitely wanna stay off of Saw You at Sinai!

Sarah said...

pseudo religious...that should actually be an option under "religion."

Anonymous said...

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