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Thursday, August 20, 2009

WHAT THE F&$% ARE YOU TALKIN' BOUT, WILLIS?!

I was speaking to a client the other day who was bemoaning his newly divorced status. He's glad to be rid of the ex, but he's not having any luck on Match.com and E-Harmony. I wasn't aware that they even let Jews on E-Harmony. I thought it was some Mormon run site that doesn't allow "certain people" who don't measure up to its high standards to join - kind of like what they do at restricted country clubs, and at diners in Mississippi in 1951.

I very facetiously suggested that he try Jdate, and he said: "Yeah, man. Lay Date - that's where it's at. I keep meaning to set up the profile, but I've been lazy."
"What'd you call it?" I asked.
"Lay Date. I hear it's pretty easy to get laid on there."
"It is? How come no one told me?"
"I know a bunch of guys who've gotten laid from Jdate."
"Really? Like who?"
"They say the women are horny as shit."
"Really? Like who?"
"People go on there just to hook up."
"Really? Like who?"

I know I'm a bad example of successful Internet intercourse, but since when the fuck is Jdate like an episode of Entourage? Have there been drastic changes to the site since I last subjected myself to being treated like a digital leper?

I certainly won't be back to find out, but I gotta admit that I'm kinda hoping my client doesn't get laid from Jdate, so I'm not the only one.

5 comments:

Tiny E said...

Urban legend. Everyone knows someone who knows a dozen someones who keep getting laid on JDate. No one really does though. And I imagine the hoops you would have to jump through are far more effort than they're worth.

And I'm glad you're putting the word out on eHarmony. A friend of mine went on and was crushed when they told her she was unmatchable. I told her not to worry because they don't match Jews.

Dark Cloud Nine said...

yeah after half an hour of questions on Eharmony they told me there was no match on Earth for me WHATSOEVER (well take that Eharm, I'm married now, and well, we haven't broken up for good yet *knocks on wood*) - I wonder if they detected my Jewishness... didn't think of that at the time ;)

Anonymous said...

it's not an urban legend. i've gotten my fair share back in the day. got tired of it. moved on lol.

and the correct term is JLay ;).

Dori said...

My Jewish friend met her man on eHarmony last year. They just moved in together. So: worth a shot.

Anonymous said...

It's happened to me on Jdate, but all my fastest lays have come from eHarmony girls. (I date for marriage, but when I have the chance to have sex I take it.)